Prayer For Dealing With Alzheimer's

O God of love,
hear our prayer
for all who suffer from Alzheimer's.
In the days of changing memory,
be with them in their fears.
In the days when memory has gone,
bless their families who suffer.
Surround them with tender love
from family, friend, and stranger.
Grant them peace in their hearts,
a secure home environment,
and dignity in their lives.
May each day bring a blessing,
hope, and greater love.

I'm going to need a lot of help
to become a good caregiver.
I'm counting on you, God, for that.

Help me grow patience for this journey.
Help me forgive myself for all the ways I fail.

Show me how to see that heart within
that longs for unconditional love,
just like me.
Show me how to know that soul
that shines in the light of divine love,
just like mine.
Show me myself in this person.
Show me this person in me.

Help me listen to a thousand repetitions
without getting angry.
Help me to say, "Uh-Huh," instead of
"I already told you that!"
Help me not be frightened or repelled
by a grown-up needing guidance
and help like a child.

Help me laugh when
I find sheets in the oven,
socks on hands,
underwear over pants,
someone undressed and back in bed
I just spent an hour getting up.

Help me be kind, to myslef and others.
To say, "Oh well!" when I lose my temper.
To say, "I'm sorry" when I owe it,
To say, "Never mind" and mean it,
To say, "Oops" and not scold.
Help me remind myself that,
next to the end of civilization as we know it,
this really isn't so much.

Help me forgive this person's illness.
Help me forgive my lack of empathy.
Help me remind myself that
I don't have to be perfect
and, as you know, God,
that's a good thing,

Help me to journey to the place where
it's enough to be the people we both are.

Help me be amused instead of judgemental.
Help me stop blaming someone for their illness.
Help me be kind
instead of angry and frightened.
Help me give more than I ever got.
Help me grow into the person
who can love everyone exactly as they are,
including me.

Help me be willing
to become my parent's parent
instead of resisting with anger.

Help me learn how to have fn,
how to travel into different time zones
with my parent
who thinks this is 1928 in South Dakota.

Help me understand
that when my 88-year-old mother
asks me when her mother is coming home
it means she needs a mother.
Help me be that mother.

Help me think about the fact
that sometimes everyone feels
like a motherless child.
Help me feel that gap.

Help me know and understand that
as I become what others need
I become that for myself.
I'd be really grateful, Lord,
if you could do all that for me really fast.
Or maybe at least,
you could rush me some patience.

Thank you.

Loving God,

Please bless every mother and father who has Alzheimer's disease.

He was with us children as we learned to walk.
-- Guide his uncertain steps today as his balance fails him.

She taught us to cross streets and be safe.
-- Help her not to get lost, even in her familiar surroundings.

He held us close in the terrors of the darkest nightmares.
-- May he not be frightened today by the reality of his life, which is strange and totally out of his control.

She cooked thousands of meals over decades of time.
-- Please allow her to accept the caring hand that now feeds her.

She changed diapers, Lord, and served you each time she did.
-- Please give her now the humility and grace to be served in this way.

Loving God, the familiar eyes of my mother
now respond with a blank stare.
She is unable to carry on a conversation,
to ask about her family
or to serve in the central role she has in our family.

Help my beloved father accept the surrender of his life these days.
Open his prayerful heart and fading mind
to be aware of your presence with him,
perhaps now closer than ever.

Give us, the family, the patience, courage and acceptance
to love her as she is and to support him, in his daily needs.

Lord make me an instrument of your peace.

Give me the grace to have what I already have and to make it grow;
help me to reap a personal sense of calm and restfulness in the
midst of my loved one's devastating disease
and to extend that peace in his/her daily care.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Help me to sow love in the midst of this hated disease.
Teach me how to render loving and patient care to my loved one.
Show me the way to be Your instrument of grace
and help me come to a resolution of acceptance and consideration.

Where there is discord, union.
Where there is injury, pardon.

Help me to seek healing of a hardened heart,
oftentimes full of anger and resentment,
and to reconcile myself to the reality of my loved one's disease;
to see the "injury" of Alzheimer's as a means for me and my affected loved one
to grow in greater love and intimacy with you, Lord,
and to pardon that which is unknown for causing this devastating disease.

Where there is doubt, faith.

I know doubt is a necessary part of life.
Help me in situations when I doubt myself in the care of my loved one;
when I question my responsibilities of being a caregiver;
when I sit in doubt at times thinking You have abandoned me, Lord;
and most of all, when I lose that faith and hope
that I know are what ultimately sustain me and my loved one
throughout the journey of this disease,

Where there is despair, hope.

I know that everyone dealing with this disease has despair,
but help me to be an instrument to others
so I can offer hope to them, too.
In my despair, give me the grace to reach out to others for solace and support,
so that we all can know the hope that is always restored
through your love and grace, Lord.

Where there is darkness, light.

I know Jesus is the Light of the World.
Help me always to remember and to receive that Light of Christ.
I am a reflection of that Light;
my loved one with Alzheimer's is a reflection of that Light, too.
Help us, together, to be that Light for ourselves and others.

And where there is sadness, joy.

I am losing my loved one to this devastating disease.
It makes both of us sad.
Help me to recognize the joy in the present moment with my loved one each day;
to experience that joy together, to overcome our sadness that sometimes prevails,
and to know that God is ever with us on our journey.

O Divine Master, grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

Help me not to be so needy.
Use me as an instrument to others for consolation,
even in my own journey and grief.
Help me find the grace to care and comfort others
who are also affected by this disease,
thereby giving my loved one and me comfort, too.

To be understood, as to understand;

Help me not to be fixated on always trying to understand my loved one
and always wanting for him/her to understand me;
what he/she is trying to communicate;
all the "whys" and" hows" of this disease;
but to just understand and listen most of all;
and to recognize that the progression of the disease
is destroying my loved one's brain, not the person behind the disease.

To be loved, as to love.

I miss my loved one's love; I miss the touch and companionship;
the days of sharing and caring for each other.
Help me to keep our love alive;
to aspire to love him/her as much as I can through this journey,
knowing that when I am caring for another human being, we both grow in love,
and that when we both grow in that love, it will be given whole-heartedly to others.

For it is in giving that we receive.

Help me not to tire of all the "care" giving
and to be charitable in that giving.
Help me be a more generous receiver;
to receive the abundant gifts of others,
to accept help and welcome help
throughout this disease journey.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

Help me to forgive myself for all the times when I am angry, or weary, or lonely,
or upset, or impatient, or frustrated.
Help me to know that my loved one forgives me, too;
for my negative actions and emotions oftentimes become elevated because
the madness of the disease overwhelms me.

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Give me the strength and perseverance when grief overcomes me
to withstand the loss of my loved one twice;
to endure patiently when he/she no longer recognizes me,
when I am seen as a stranger or foe,
when I must realize the slow passing away of a person I once knew and still love;
and finally, give me the grace and fortitude for that final goodbye
so that I might have peace and promise in my loved one's physical death
when my loved one is joined with Christ in a new, eternal life.


Loving God, Healer and Comforter,
we pray for those who suffer from the anxiety, ambiguity and confusion of Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. Look with mercy upon their distress, confusion or isolation. Shelter them where dignity and peace abound. Grant them understanding helpers and the willingness to accept help. In the face of loss of memory and control, increase their confidence in your love and strengthen their care-givers. As the Good Shepherd, tend to the sick, rest the weary, pity the afflicted, soothe the suffering and bless the dying. We make this supplication through the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes, in the name of your Son, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

Pray for me I was once like you.
Be kind and loving to me that's how I would have treated you.
Remember I was once someone's parent or spouse I had a life and a
dream for the future.

Speak to me, I can hear you even if I don't understand
what you are saying. Speak to me of things in my past of
which I can still relate.

Be considerate of me, my days are such a struggle.
Think of my feelings because I still have them and can feel pain.
Treat me with respect because I would have treated you that way.
Think of how I was before I got Alzheimer's; I was full of life,
I had a life, laughed and loved you.

Think of how I am now, My disease distorts my thinking, my
feelings, and my ability to respond, but I still love you even if I can't tell you.
Think about my future because I used too.

Remember I was full of hope for the future just like you are now.
Think how it would be to have things locked in your mind and
can't let them out. I need you to understand and not blame me,
but Alzheimer's.

I still need the compassion and the touching and most of all I
still need you to love me.

Keep me in your prayers because I am between life and death.
The love you give will be a blessing from God and both of us will
live forever.

How you live and what you do today will always be remembered
in the heart of the Alzheimer's Patient.

Father of all goodness,
your Son brought healing of mind and body
to show that your Kingdom is here.
In our hour of need, we look to you,
we seek to understand your purpose,
Through Joseph, the faithful and honourable husband of Mary,
you show us care and compassion in adversity,
you give us a model of generosity and care.
We pray for those whose lives we share
and who live with the knowledge of weakness,
whose memory now fades,
whose enjoyment of life's story is changing.
Make us aware of the needs of others,
of the dignity of life at every stage,
of the collective memory that we own.
Bless those who care for the sick,
who share the journey.
Your Kingdom come,
Your will be done,
in Your good time.
We ask this through the same Christ our Lord. Amen

Pour your grace, O loving God,
upon all suffering with dementia.
It is frustrating
not to find a word;
it is fearful
to lose one's memories.
Bless them with patience,
a loving and supporting family,
and days of hope and accomplishment.
In Christ's name we pray.